Update on charMing (you know who I am)

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Update on charMing (you know who I am)

Hurray! I finally am able to get on. (Now, can I do it again tomorrow?)

I should be in bed by now.
4:15 a.m. Up and at 'em to transport brother (BRO) to/from day surgery. He is due in at 6:00 a.m. It is raining "cats & dogs" outside with severe weather advisories.

11:00 a.m. Left facility w/BRO for the pharmacy to pick up bandages, Tylenol, and antibiotics.

11:30 a.m. BRO shows me his cell phone (my plan) and the battery is swollen. I take it down to AT&T and upgrade the phone.

1:00 p.m. Am back at BRO's w/new phone. He is a happy camper. Receive phone call from dr's office requesting I come in an hour earlier b/c of weather.

2:00 p.m. Pick up DH & head for the dr's office. For those not in the know, I had surgery last month to remove a mass from my R breast. B/c of the holidays & vacations, I have not been able to get an appt w/dr re: pathology.

3:30 p.m. #1 Daughter shows up (finally) and the 3 of us are escorted to an office. Dr. comes in and lets me know that the pathology came up NEGATIVE for breast cancer on all slides. Dr. even asked the pathologist to recheck the slides.

Home by 6:30 p.m. Now what do I do with these books I have about breast cancer? Guess will try to put them on EBay.

SM is in SNF. That will probably be her last home. Dad cannot take care of her. She needs 24 hr nursing.

I was able to convince Dad to give me the info for the Aid and Attendance Benefit he is entitled to as a veteran. It is a little known VA benefit for vets over 65 and/or their spouses. Depending on what Dad qualifies for, he can get between $1700 and $2000 each month to help w/costs of a home health care agency (homebound) or a long term facility. He is paying $4200/mo for SM until she is moved from rehab to LTC. His R&B is $2,000/mo. I am more concerned w/the cost of the LTC facility since SM is not eligible for Medicaid. Medicare & personal insurance has run out. Just need to make an appt w/county VA officer to turn in paperwork.

SIL is enjoying herself at Assisted Living. Daughter picks up her meds & delivers them for me.

Good night, Gracie.


Good to hear from you!

Good to hear from you!

Ahh "The poster formerly

Ahh "The poster formerly known as Collete" .

Now if we can just get the

Now if we can just get the rest of the crew on. Polarbear, Gail, Hope, and who ever else we can think of! This IS different.

SWMD, good to see you again, also!

Now for the humor. . . I was given a Kindle Fire by DH for Christmas. (So far programming a DVD player & this computer is the extent of bringing me into the 21st C. Pretty much figured the Kindle is a computer I can download books to. Then my cell phone when out. So I upgraded to iPhone 4 for 99 cents (AT&T). That was 2 days ago. All I want is to receive/make calls & text. Am finally realizing the iPhone is just a miniature puter. The majority of the apps I do not really need.

My 34-yr old son is exasperated w/me. I downloaded some ringtones for free. They are on the puter, not the phone. He spent about 1-1/2 hrs getting 2 of the 3 on the phone & said that was about $21 worth of his time. (HUH?? Excuse me, your mother. Do I need to start charging rent?)

One ringtone I have used for 10 yrs. Somehow it became my tone for incoming email. Just figured that one out tonight. In your minds, imagine me being awakened by my ringtone & not being able to answer the phone! (It was the email alert.) Uggggggggggggh!

May everyone have a Good Sunday and a better week.


(Sorry for the repeated posts

(Sorry for the repeated posts. Am trying to figure out how to delete posts in other categories and stick to one thread on myself.)

Step Mom SM, 89 yrs, has been in an SNF since mid-November. Dad, 90 yrs, lives independently & has been at the SNF everyday for breakfast and lunch. SM is sometimes with it, sometimes not.

Dad fainted at the SNF last week. His BP was 75/47. DH and I took Dad to his dr who recommended Dad enter the hospital overnight. Dad refused & DH refused to step in as medical PoA and force the issue. The nurses at the SNF have been concerned about Dad b/c every few steps he needs to stop and catch his wind.

Yesterday DH rec'd a call from the SNF. Dad was trying to get SM to eat when she began shouting, "HELP ME! HELP ME!" It is my understanding Dad grabbed SM by the arm and shook her to try to get her to stop shouting. SNF told Dad to leave. SNF wanted to know if DH & I could get Dad to a hospital for an evaluation.

My question . . . Was it not the duty of the SNF to report this abuse to the state? Should the police been called & Dad charged with simple abuse? Would calling the police been a direct avenue to getting Dad into a hospital at least for a psych eval?

Dad does not have me down as an agent on any of his legal forms b/c he was (mis)advised by a lawyer friend to "not favor one child over another" and to assign my husband as the only alternate. In a way my hands are tied as DH thinks Dad is "with it" and will not talk to Dad's dr about what happened. Dad is refusing to go to the dr"s followup appt this Thurs morning where he would get the results of the blood tests run last week when he fell.

Anyone with any ideas?


Barring going through all the

Barring going through all the hoops to have him ruled incompetent, or getting DH to push the issue, I think your hands are tied, Colette. :-(

I would imagine the SNF does not want to get involved, and if your SM did not indicate that she wanted to press charges/make an issue, they probably dropped it right there. It is unfortunate that the dynamics between your Dad & SM are so challenging. You can suggest all you want, but it sounds like he's going to do exactly what he wants when he wants to. That's got to be incredibly frustrating. I agree that his behavior is worrisome.

I have been keeping in touch with Hope, and for the present, she is very busy with her husband's care. I don't think she'll be making the switch to the new forum, at least not at present. Please keep her and her family in prayer.

Colette, just had a question - are you doing things that are fulfilling for you?? I hope you have methods to de-stress and try to take care of yourself as often as possible. You have a lot on your shoulders.




I feel I am headed back to where I was this past August just wanting the world to stop so I can get off. Saw the counselor today. She is concerned for me & wants me to see the psychiatrist. Yes, the appt has been set. She also wants me in intensive group therapy, 3 hrs/5days/group with an extra 1 hr/psychiatrist & extra 1 hr/family therapy. (Good luck getting the family together!) I do not feel.I have the stamina to do the 3-hr/day.

So to not to be readmitted to the hospital,. I am leaving Dad & SM alone. Although it sounds callous, I need to look out for me. I will finish the VA paperwork I started for Dad and wash my hands.


It doesn't sound callous at

It doesn't sound callous at all, and you need to take care of yourself FIRST. I'm glad you see that. They will manage or not, but you cannot be responsible for everyone.

I am in counseling as well, to try to get on a better track. It is helping immensely.

BIG hugs,

Bac in Hosp again. INR was 2x

Bac in Hosp again. INR was 2x what it should be. Colonoscopy tomorrow to check for internal bleeding. Hope to be home tomorrow afternoon.


Sending up prayers for

Sending up prayers for answers as to where the bleeding is coming from. Do you have a family history, perchance, of ulcers? (I know it is our family legacy....)

BIG hugs,

I am adopted so no. Family

I am adopted so no. Family history. Polyp. Removed from colon today & dx of colitis. Go home tomorrow.

This year is fast coming to

This year is fast coming to an end. I hope 2014 will be better. SM died peacefully on Feb 20 2 hrs after Dad told her "goodbye" on the phone. She was in an SNF and Dad was in the hospital. SM was 89 yrs old.

Dad died peacefully 17 days later on March 9. He never had the batteries in the defibrillator checked, so the device did not work. Dad was 90 yrs old & his reason for living (SM) no longer existed.

I figure they are in one of the Father's many mansions where Dad is calling the BINGO numbers while my Mom and SM are busy covering their cards.

We went to Israel just after Dad's death. A sore on DH's foot escalated into a wound that would not heal. Long story short, last month DH's right leg was amputated below the knee. I have found humor various times in what was going on. The one that stays with me is "Lord, this IS NOT what I envisioned as my 2nd honeymoon for the past 17 yrs. You have a weird sense of humor. Then I was taught I was made in Your image and likeness. You are showing me where my weird sense of humor came from." ;-)

DH asked me to fix his dinner that was on the stove. I just did what DH asked me to: cut the hotdogs into 32nd's (?), pour all the rice in the bowl, and add 3 tablespoons of peas. I did just that. One problem, I used the open pan of rice w/butter. (That is my son's rice.) How was I to know HIS rice was covered? After almost 42 yrs I should know his rice is never buttered. :-(

Tomorrow DH might be cast for a prosthetic leg/foot. Most of my week is spent transporting DH or me to medical appointments. Tomorrow there are 3 scheduled, all for DH.

And so the fun goes on.