Hello everyone! Some of you may remember me from the old forum. I took care of my father for many years, and he passed away in 2013. After going through a long mourning period, I started to feel like I was starting a new life. For the first time in years, I was free to pursue my own life. I went from worrying 24/7 about my father and making my father my number 1 priority, to feeling like I could finally focus on my own life. It looks like that is about to come to an end. I learned that my mother-in-law is going to be moving here (she currently lives far away). She has Alzheimer's. I will do whatever I can to help out, but I do not want to become a caregiver again. I do not want her to stay at my house. I never had my own father stay at my house, and I definitely do not want my mother-in-law, with whom I have never had any relationship, to stay at my house. She cannot be alone, and I do not want to become her babysitter. Since my father passed away, I have resumed my career, and I am busy working and pursuing the interests that I could not pursue when I was a caregiver for my father.
I feel like I am being selfish for not wanting to be a caregiver for my mother-in-law. I do not want her to become the focus of our lives. I do not want to go back to the stress that I lived for so many years.
I am afraid that having my mother-in-law living nearby will end up putting a huge strain on my marriage. I don't know what to do. All I know is that I cannot go back to that life.