Helathcare pros response to male spousal caregiver

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Smedley_Butler
Helathcare pros response to male spousal caregiver

Hello everyone. I was curious if anyone else has noticed this. Of course, this is not from any study or anything. Just anecdotal evidence from my own experiences. But here goes.

I take my wife in to see her doctors and they are very attentive to her and tend to her every issue. No complaints there. They even ask how I am doing. And this is where it gets wonky.

I tell the I am not doing so well and they ask a somewhat superficial question or two. I expand a bit more on my comment. Then nothing or, even worse, they chuckle like I am trying to tell a joke or something. I have even gone to various clinical social workers and told them more detail and specifically asked for resources and hardly get anything in response. I've seen other men treated similarly. However, when I have heard female caregivers report similar issues as mine, they are inundated with support. Phone numbers, web sites, reading material, one-on-one conversations, etc.

I get the distinct impression that these folks all think that men are just supposed to be able to "handle it". Our issues are not taken seriously at all. Yes, I know I can seek out help outside of those clinics and I probably will before this is all over. But it just struck me as interesting that when women speak up, they are given all kinds of assistance. But when a man speaks up, it is just kind of laughed or shrugged off and we are expected to just deal with it.

Discuss.

:)

SB

Ive definitely noticed that.

Ive definitely noticed that. I don't know any female caregivers personally, so I haven't heard their point of view. But many times I've taken my wife to see her doctors, and the attitude has seemed to be "well you're her husband, thats your job, suck it up, what are you complaining about, she's got it much worse than you."
The only supportive suggestion was from her internist who suggested I see a therapist if I thought I might have depression.

I think part of it might be that Im rather young to be a spousal caregiver, so Im probably better able to handle the physical aspects of it. But the isolation and depression of continuous caregiving still hurts.