Im new here, I found this forum while searching online for support groups. Im 44, my wife is 50, I have been a spousal caregiver for 8 years. My wife was diagnosed with Polymyositis 8 years ago, its an adult onset type of Muscular Dystrophy. It makes her muscles very sore and weak, and slowly atrophy. At first, I was very supportive, i could do it all. After 8 years, its really wearing on me. I've lost my partner and lover and cuddle buddy, and become pretty much just her caregiver. While there is still love, there is nothing physical left, and the realization of it really gets depressing. At times I think "this is it, this is the rest of my life, being a nurse and maid and driver." So how do you deal with it? Do i need to just accept it and get on antidepressants already?
I think if you listen to yourself, you will know when you have reached a tipping point of something that you just can't do anymore and then you have to find a way to get around it. You have to recognize what exactly is too much for you before you can figure out a plan of action on how you can change it. For instance if you are kind of hopeless maybe you need to plan something that you can look forward to and prepare for (if that kind of thing brings your spirits up even temporarily). For me one of the things that makes me feel hopeless is being treated badly in my own home. However, I will not stop caregiving because I recognize it is the illness and meds creating this abusiveness. So for the longest time I struggled and finally a friend suggested putting an RV next to the house to live in. That way I can be nearby enough to still care for my spouse but not have to be emotionally dragged down 24/7 by all the difficult behavior their illness creates in them. I had to talk to a few people though, and be honest with them about my problem in order to finally get this great advice. That's the saving grace of this network. . . a place we can be completely honest and get ideas that will actually help us. Allez