Finding the right facility....

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Jeff DAmico
Finding the right facility....

My grandfather is 86 and is experiencing the later stages of Alzheimer's. He lived at home and had 2 falls in the last year. It was as if the first fall knocked something loose, and he went from sometimes being confused to.... Just much worse. The second fall we decided he needed 24 hour care.
(Anyone know why this happened)

He can walk and use the restroom on his own and can physically get around. He cannot hold a conversation, and cannot remember anything from his short term memory. What he had for lunch, who came to visit, he has no clue.

He is currently in a nursing home, he doesn't like it and I don't blame him. He is very sweet, and never raises his voice, just asks when he's going home, over and over and it rips my heart out every time.

The info I am getting is that he is past the point of an assisted living facility, and any nursing home in the area is similar or worse. (Essentially a wing at a hospital)

Money isn't much of an issue. We can afford just about anything. (It can't be a place for the top 1%)

When I look for facilities online I can't seem to find any organization. Does anyone know of a database, or a consultant we could use? We are in the upstate NY area, between Rochester and Syracuse.

Or are my efforts just fruitless? Are all nursing homes just essentially a hospital?

If a facility is an assisted living program, and has an Alzheimer's wing, does that mean that they take people who need more care than your average assisted living facility?

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Id advice you to tour the

Id advice you to tour the faciities after getting word of mouth, I used to be a Nursing HOme nurse and they are not all equal . But they do have certain regulations they have to live with. Find out the nurse / patient ratio. See if it has steps. (personally a no/no in my opinion) I worked at a new one with steps as a centerpiece . I thought it was a stupid dangerous thing to do done to impress families. If your looking for an Assisted Living place attached to a home . You can pay for around the clock help at them ..but enquire.  If you are sure a Nursing Home is the place. See if you can move in as much of their furniture as possible to make it more like their home. There is no way to really make it home. No way to help them adjust to staff knocking and coming in . Only having one room and a bathroom. Limited freedom. There just isnt . They have to have time to adjust. keep visiting , Keep calling . Gift the staff small tokens of food or goodies. (you dont have to .. but yeah it helps ) As a nurse im not going ot treat anyone worse if hte family doesnt and maybe not your family member better .. but i will remember.