terminally ill sister

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cindy_56
terminally ill sister

I have been caring for my sister for 9 months now on a full time basis. She lives with me. She is also under hospice care. My biggest issue that I'm having right now, is her anger and course depression. Ihave no problem with that at all. That is part of the dying process she's going through, but all of it is taken out on me. They always say your closest one. But she is so verbally ugly to me after awhile if almost every day, I find myself so depressed and unhappy. It makes me feel I'm losing my mind. Once she starts, she just keeps on
I try to be so understanding and just be quite and listen to her, but after awhile that's hard so I speak my mind and it only makes worse. Thank you for reading. Sorry if too long, but any advise or help would be very appreciated. Feeling so alone
Cindy_56

I've been caring for my wife

I've been caring for my wife for 4 years now. There are times she gets pretty rude and inconsiderate with me. I generally ignore it, but sometimes it gets bad enough I have to set sympathy and patience aside and have words with her. Did it tonight as a matter of fact. Sometimes it is a whole diatribe, other times it is like tonight and all it took was a single impassioned comment. The point is, she is not the only one going through a hard time and she needs to remember that, or be reminded of it from time to time.

If you do confront your sister, try to do so calmly. But you are going through hard times right along with her and deserve some consideration and respect also. And don't let her get away with that "poor little me" nonsense. Just as we cannot fully understand what our charges are going through, they also do not, and usually cannot, fully understand what WE are going through.

Although I must say it is a bit easier for to remind my wife. She nursemaided me for a long time after I had a serious accident so she does have a frame of reference.

Good luck and God bless.

Hi Cindy, I am so sorry to

Hi Cindy, I am so sorry to hear about your sister. Hospice care is very difficult yet rewarding. I have taken care of three close friends now and would do it all over again. Also dealing w mom and dad who both have dementia, with Mom being very angry and anxious-especially cruel to my older sister, it's hard to watch and live with. I hope you have some respite type of care, getting away every now and then will definitely help you, and your sister just may appreciate you a little more when you return. Talking with a therapist has helped me through the years. I am 54 and my first hospice experience, me being a caregiver was back in 1990. I have had anxiety and depression which, for me, an antidepressant helped tremendously. I'll say a prayer for you and your sister. Hang in there and remember you are doing a wonderful thing! God Bless