Dementia not alzheimers

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MidEviL138
Dementia not alzheimers

My partner and I have been taking care of her mother for 10 months now since she came home from a memory care center. The doctors claimed she has dementia and required 'round the clock supervision and care. The state granted my partner full guardianship. Here's where it gets mind boggling. The mother and daughter have a VERY turbulent past. To say they do not love one another is an understatement. The mother has always been very manipulative, arrogant, condescending, and a know it all. The last few months she keeps insisting she can take care of herself and has made every attempt to get rid of us. Time for the grand finale ... recently (about a month ago) she starting visiting a neighbor and has been telling her many jaded stories. We had the last straw when earlier this week the neighbors daughter came over, woke us up out of bed, and started yelling at us claiming elder abuse. We called the cops within minutes of this transgression as did she. When the cop finally arrived my partner was the first to talk to him. After a brief but detailed conversation he approached the mother and neighbor who were across the street. The mother reconfirmed EVERYTHING that my partner had told the cop except for one big discrepancy ... she excluded every detail that made her (the mother) look bad. After a very long conversation with the mother and the neighbor the cop came back to the house. He looked around the house and was very confused. Not only was every detrimental thing she said about us a lie, but from the looks of the house she was being very well taken care of ... and we do. Going back to the mother being manipulative though. She asks for something, we buy it. She does nothing with it. Shes asks for a particular food, we buy it. She then claims she can't eat it (she has no teeth and refuses to wear her dentures which were very expensive). Two days ago she asked the neighbor to buy her a bunch of tv dinner lasagnas saying we don't buy them for her. We stopped buying them for her because she told us she couldn't chew them! We do EVERYTHING, short of wiping her a**, for her but there is never so much as a thank you or the smallest shred of gratitude! She combats us on everything sticking her nose up in the air at us when she doesn't like what we've suggested ... which is everything. We gave up our jobs and lives to take care of her. WE HAVE NOTHING! The point I'm trying to make is we don't believe she has dementia at all anymore. SHES GETTING SMARTER! Doing some serious research the last few weeks I've found a number of clues suggesting it is or was pseudodementia. For starters she was a severe alcoholic and chain smoker (still a chain smoker) before my partner and I intervened but, when the hospital did tests and scans they found absolutely no evidence of any damage to her liver or lungs. After her getting proper nuitrition for months and months it is possible to reverse alcohol related dementia if its caught soon enough. To top it off she has a bad hip and has for almost 20 years. For those almost 20 years she'd been taking Prednisone. My research concluded that steroids like that can lead to dementia as well but can be reversed within months after stopping the steroid (which we had). The psyche ward at the hospital we sent her to said they ran a CT and that it confirmed dementia but this was only a week after we brought her to the hospital. We never got to see that scan. I'm no doctor but I've seen enough of my own brain damage MRIs and CTs to know what I'm looking at. We are now having another doctor request such scans because we truly believe she manipulated us and the system to get us to be her personal slaves. She is and has always been that manipulative of a person. What do we do? We can't take it anymore. We are finishing up whatever half done projects we have at her house then signing her over as a ward to the state unless someone has a brilliant solution to this atrocious nightmare we are living. Since we have nothing to fall back on since we gave up our lives to care for her, we will become homeless after signing her life over to the state.