In great need of advise / mother is 70 and in excellent shape

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Elliotkl
In great need of advise / mother is 70 and in excellent shape

Oh where life leads us.....my mother is simply the most amazing woman I have ever met.  She's 70 years old, and in excellent health.  She worked for a large organization for 17 years and was recently laid off in June, 2016 along with 20% of the workforce and her severance simply wasn't enough to live the rest of your life.  She was a single mom and we lost our ENTIRE family (including my brother after a heart transplant) 12 years ago.  We had a large family whom all died within a three year span.  What is left???  My mother and myself.  No cousins or long distant family members.  We are the last of the bloodline.  

She did make a nice salary and saved, but of course lived life to the fullest as well.  We both learned after my brother that life is too short.  Being a single parent her life, she's always been paycheck to paycheck for the exception of her savings and would reward herself with a trip once a year which I completed supported her on.

Then life happens.................................she gets notice she is 70 and being let go after many years of dedicated service.  She panics.........pours her resume into our community ( FL) as well as others across the state.  She lives very frugally until she realizes this past November that she's having to begin dipping into her not so high savings just to pay her rent and bills.  So we decided to put her things into storage and move in with me in my ONE BEDROOM (AS I NEVER WANTED TO EVEN BE TEMPTED TO OBTAIN A ROOMMATE).

She moved in 11/15/16.  I no longer have my home and am miserable but would never tell her so.  I adore her.  She now works for the Arts Center making more than myself but I'm not charging her rent so that she can replinish her savings.  This was supposted to be temporary, but now she wants to stay with me a YEAR to pay off her credit card debt and then buy a home WITH ME because she cannot do it buy herself.  I cannot do this.  I would be misterable and want my privacy and life back.  I cannot be guilted into giving up BIG life decisions and having them made by my mother.  I'm 48 with a boyfriend and a dog and live alone and LOVE IT that way.  I feel like she has other options other than just me!  I do need advise though, as there are no finances and I do love her deeply and I don't know what to do.  :(

 

 

Scottie
Mother

 

I too have a mother that moved in with me, 18 years ago.  It was supposed to be temporary after I was divorced.  She helped with my daughter after school, cooked and cleaned and led an active life.  However, I never really wanted her to move in with me in the first place. Now, she has cancer and is undergoing radiation treatment. I certainly can't ask her to move out.  My sister lives within 2 hours but made it clear she did not want our mother moving in with her. She does come and share in the caregiving.  My problem is selfish and self serving. I want my life back..not tied down in my own house.  I come upstairs to  my computer to get away from her. She watches television all the time and it gets on my nerves.