Stressed Out from managing my mother's financial affairs

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MasterSally
Stressed Out from managing my mother's financial affairs

22 months ago my mother entered a retirement home, originally in independent living, now in the dementia care center. As my mother's cognitive abilities declined, my brothers and mother asked me to be the POA and to manage her financial affairs, including bill paying, managing a small portfolio, and making sure she doesn't give money away. While I am grateful that she is being cared for so well, and has the money to do so, it is tiring, awkward and often requires more patience than I have. I am a mom of two pre-teens and have my hands full with raising kids. My two brothers, neither of whom has kids, help with mom but I am doing the lion's share and I am tired and grumpy about it. Yet, now that all the legal paperwork is in place, changing it to allow someone else to help mom would be a paperwork nightmare. Anyone ever been in this situation?

I take care of my brother's

I take care of my brother's finances b/c he has a champagne taste on a beer budget. After I received calls 3 different times that he was in arrears, I took over for my sanity.

Are you able to leave Mom's financial affairs alone for just one day of the week or bi-weekly? Can you get with a financial advisor you trust to have that person manage her portfolio?

I am giving you a link to 10 caregiver commitments.

www.leezasplace.org/ten_comm.html

One of them is to have regular family meetings. You & each sibling need to make your voices heard if there needs to be a change in Mom's care. On my POA's I list a 2nd person in the event #1 needs to beg off. Is there a 2nd POA in Mom's paperwork?

Please read the link & take the commitments to heart. Print them out & post them where you will see them each day. The #1 commitment is to "Put your oxygen mask on first."

Please keep posting. I will look for your comments.

Colette

I'm a mom of two teens as

I'm a mom of two teens as well and I manage all my grandma's bills. She lives with me. I have a breakdown of every bill and I have to keep an eye out on if and when they clear the bank account. She doesn't realize I pay 3 bills of hers. I have to see if she has enough to spend and during shopping oh she's a tough one. I think it might be a little bit easier because she has no portfolio yet. Mind you I did say yet because when she sells her home we want her to have some sort of a nest egg for herself. Hang in there:-)