I might as well introduce myself. You can call me Alexander. I live in Idaho and I'm 26 years old.
Right now it's Halloween night, my absolutely favorite holiday, but while all my friends are going out to have fun, I'm once again at home spending it like any other day. This now the fifth Halloween in a row I've had to stay home.
I'm the only caregiver for my partially disabled, diabetic, depressive Mom. I'm an only child, my Dad left 2 years ago and most of my family are too busy/selfish to help me out. I've been in college for several years, as I've had to retake multiple classes from absences, because I've had to stay home. I'm in trouble with my boss at my part-time job a lot as I've had to suddenly miss work. My friendships are starting to be strained, because they don't understand why "I'm hardly ever available" and quite frankly I'm starting to get bitter how they can just stay out as long as they want without worry. Romantic relationships are nonexistant, as most girls immediately become disinterested when they find out about my home situation. And in general I've found it harder to relate with other people, as my only social contact is in class or work.
I'm graduating this December, and I'm looking into work-at-home jobs, so I can be closer to my Mom and help her out. Awesome. But, I'm worried that pretty much guarantees I'm going to lose all contact with the world.
Understandably, I've been dealing with feelings of isolation. But, now I'm worried that anxiety is turning into resentment and bitterness. And that's the last thing I want. That's why I'm reaching out. I don't know what to do, and I'm tired of living vicariously through other people's lives on social media.