My 85 year old mom was diagnosed with end stage liver disease from hep C 16 months ago. Since then I have been her caregiver. She still lives alone and does some driving. She lives about 30-40 min. drive from me. I have 4 siblings, 3 out of state (out of mind) and 1 in state that lives about 70 min. away.
My problem is my mom is very religious and insists that she is going to die from a heart attack and she doesn't need to or want to talk about care she is going to need very shortly. I am having surgery at the end of this month and will be "out of service" for approx. 3 months. My mom has been in and out of the hospital 4 times since her diagnosis. I'm trying to convince her to sign up for home health care while I'm recovering and to help afterwards. She absolutely refuses to talk to anyone about this and refuses to let anyone in her house but family. She insists that God will take care of her while I'm recovering and doesn't need anyone else. While I'm glad her faith is helping her get through this I need to think realistically. Only one of my siblings is on board with me on this. I have no support from the other 3.
She has medic alert but refuses to use it. The 3 times she was taken to the hospital by ambulance she waited up to 70 min before my sister could get to her before she called 911 and one of those times she was in and out of A-fib. I don't know how many times I've gotten a call where she needs me because she doesn't feel right and when I get there she refuses to let me call the doctor or take her to one. So I sit there, frustrated and scared, and wait till she feels right again.
I have called home health care agencies, told them what my dilemma is, and was told that someone would have to come out and evaluate her first. She simply won't allow that and told me she will refuse to talk if someone comes.
I'm at my wits end and ready to tell her I can't do it this way. I've told my siblings that but I don't think they think I can walk away from my mom. It would be hard but for my own health and well being, I think it's going to be my only choice.
Trying to hang in there,