Not in life plan...

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Cate Taylor
Not in life plan...

I'm 60 yo taking almost complete care of my mother in law who has recurrent tongue cancer. I had to stop working 2 years ago because of my own health(stroke and epilepsy) but now the family feels because I am not "working" I can take care of Mom full time. I drive her to treatments 200 miles round trip 4 days a week, take care of her appts, call doctors all day long because of the many things that pop up when a person is caring for a person with cancer, try to keep her comfortable and on task with feeding herself through a port etc. For a person with brain injury it's a big order. What little hair is left on my head is about to be pulled out!

There is little support from her children whom all live either with her or within 500 feet of her. I have learned that each adult child has their own strengths
and weaknesses but I don't consider taking her paper to her and driving 200 miles a day a fair distribution.

I certainly don't want to sound like a whiny baby but I am tired, worn out and have noticed my own health suffering. She doesn't qualify for hospice(yet) nor home health and private nursing is bizarrely expensive.

I just need a place to vent because seriously how many times can friends or other relatives put up with your saga? For they do not have the same frame of reference that I do and you do.

I hope that when this is over I can be in some capacity a strength to others because as I have found out caregiving is, in my experience, a thankless job and one that needs serious acknowledgement.