Overwhelmed and Out Numbered

Monica Ghirardi
Caregiver Relationship: 
Living Arrangements: 
Share Home
Primary Illness: 
Alzheimer's Disease/Dementia

I'm new to the group, just joined today. I live with my parents who are both over 80, my Mom has Dementia. Her mom and grandmother both died in nursing homes in lockdown units from Dementia. Both women were over 90. I've been caring for my Mother for over 10 years now. My Dad is in excellent health for a 80 year old man but he is suffering from old age mentally. Nothing too unexpected - you know - memory loss, slowing down, etc - but he checks out especially when Mom gets sick or has a really bad day. My brothers live out of state, both married and financially better off than me. I have my own health and mental issues, I run a small online business that suffers from all the distractions but I'm trying to juggle lots of balls in the air. I really need this group.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and out numbered, like there is two against one. Both parents will tell me I'm being unreasonable or I'm horrible. I feel admonished all the time. Sometimes we get into arguments over big things and sometimes small. We live in a really small house with only one full bathroom that is between their bedrooms so as you can imagine small quarters make poor bed fellows. Am I horrible for wanting to be heard and appreciated? I'm hoping to learn from all of you how to cope and deal with not just the day to day struggle, the poverty, lack of outside contact, social life, etc but also how to communicate better with both of them so that we don't have so many arguments every time I assert myself. I'm stressed out and tired of always being the one who is wrong when I need something. I need a lot more than my life has been providing for the last ten years. I am in counseling. It helps but I need support. So I'm laughing out loud so I don't cry all the time and scream my lungs out.

Wish List: 
Support for me Guide on dealing with my parents Ways to distress and relax Way out of poverty Services in my community to assist me