we live in north dakota winters here are rough. My husband is 65. i just turned 62. I worked for over 18 yrs full time to support us. I was a cna, an activities assisant, med aide ect for my job i wore many hats. Even before he was diagnosed i took care of most things. I have been primary at everything for about 10 yrs. he has been on oxygen and worse for past 5 yrs. He was told he had maybe 2 to 3 yrs to live at 1st that was over 5 yrs ago. I take care of home car yard worked , groc cook ect bills appts everything. . i am experiencing burnout here of late since covid alot has changed. my hours at work were cut back. and because of my own health issues i was forced to retire early . I have been off work at job since march. So i do not have my work support as i did. No pay check either so finances are harder too now. I am a Very religious woman. I know in my heart God has a plan for our lives and has blessed us in many ways. IT is hard for me to get help when i need it and for family to be more respectful to our wishes. My husband is quite difficult and very laid back. I am a go getter i never sit still. I like to be busy and productive. It is hard to take care of him at times as he can be rude and demanding. I try to remember what i learned at work but its harder with family. I feel bad as i have not be as nice lately to him as i was in the past. It is also harder because i was trying to leave him before he got too ill. We arent really very compatable and should have divorced years ago. I still care for him just not a deep love like i should have. we had been mostly roomies for years. I have my bed room he has his. I did and went where i wanted he stayed home. he spends 12 or more hours a day on internet. he doesnt prefer to be around others. so long as i provide food and his coffee he is happy. unless his tv or computer time is interrrupted. I am trying hard to be positive and continue to take best care i can of him. it is very challenging most of the time. from other stories ive heard. i guess my situation isnt so bad. its just harder now that i have my own health issues to cope with. And i feel abandoned more now that i dont go out to work anymore. At times i feel very trapped. I try to keep in prayer and not lose my faith. as i havent been to church in years that gets harder too. right now i just need a compasonate ear. and a kind word.