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Step Mom SM, 89 yrs, has been in an SNF since mid-November. Dad, 90 yrs, lives independently & has been at the SNF everyday for breakfast and lunch. SM is sometimes with it, sometimes not.

Dad fainted at the SNF last week. His BP was 75/47. DH and I took Dad to his dr who recommended Dad enter the hospital overnight. Dad refused & DH refused to step in as medical PoA and force the issue. The nurses at the SNF have been concerned about Dad b/c every few steps he needs to stop and catch his wind.

Yesterday DH rec'd a call from the SNF. Dad was trying to get SM to eat when she began shouting, "HELP ME! HELP ME!" It is my understanding Dad grabbed SM by the arm and shook her to try to get her to stop shouting. SNF told Dad to leave. SNF wanted to know if DH & I could get Dad to a hospital for an evaluation.

My question . . . Was it not the duty of the SNF to report this abuse to the state? Should the police been called & Dad charged with simple abuse? Would calling the police been a direct avenue to getting Dad into a hospital at least for a psych eval?

Dad does not have me down as an agent on any of his legal forms b/c he was (mis)advised by a lawyer friend to "not favor one child over another" and to assign my husband as the only alternate. In a way my hands are tied as DH thinks Dad is "with it" and will not talk to Dad's dr about what happened. Dad is refusing to go to the dr"s followup appt this Thurs morning where he would get the results of the blood tests run last week when he fell.

Anyone with any ideas?




It's a gray area and they most likely gave your Dad a break. See the attached info.

Truthfully having the police may be necessary but it will have problems of it's own. They will not take your Dad to the hospital but to jail. Most likely he will not get any psych help. He may also be legally barred from seeing your SM even if both want to later. Then he will be in the legal system and they will keep their involvement going for years! It will also cost a good bit of money.

Bottom line it's a judgement call and since I was not there it's best to defer to those who were.

Tired Dave
Former Caregiver for Wife
Passed Away 5/26/2011

Thanks, Dave.

Thanks, Dave.