Greetings

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SWMD
Greetings

Its been a while since I posted anything, I see there have been a lot of changes!

A lot has happened here too. Its finally happening. MIL is going into a nursing home this week. We just had no other choice. There is no one willing or able to look after her and we are going to have to spend several weeks away from home when our son has his surgery in a few weeks.

She said she is OK with it as long as its temporary. We have told her we will bring her home when we can, but I don't think she understands that it will probably be at least a couple of months, if not longer. We have told her that but when I got her bag out for her to start packing she said "should I pack for a week or just 3 or 4 days?" I told her no, it would be for at least a few weeks to a few months. We just have no idea right now. Dh and I have NOT told her that if it works out well, we may make it permanent. If things go well with our son, and she really hates the nursing home, we will plan to bring her back home, but if not, or if she decides she likes living there, we'll just let her stay there.

We don't know what day for sure this week but since we are going to be out of town all of next week it has to be this week. They told us it will probably be later in the week but it will be this week. All of the paper work is signed, they just need to see her bank statement and get her files from her doctor.

She still thinks she could live alone. But seeing as she can't even use the toilet by herself....well, its just not reality.

This is harder than I thought it would be for me. I was up late last night thinking about how strange it will be not to have her in the house. It will certainly change things around here. I am so hoping they will take good care of her and that she will like it there. I am afraid she will just be depressed. They have lots of activities and since its a rehab center too, its not all old people. (MIL is only 55). They have flat screen TV's for each patient with Cable tv. I think she'll love that. I think she will like being able to tell all of her old stories to a whole new set of people. I think more people will visit her there than would visit her here. People don't just stop by here so much since they know we have kids and its not always convenient for drop in visitors. In the nursing home she can have visitors pretty much whenever she wants and since its in town it will be a lot more convenient for people to stop by there than to come all the way out here into the country.

Do I sound like I'm trying to talk myself into this? I don't feel like there are any other options, I'm just really hoping and praying it works out well and that there aren't too many problems.

Our little boy has lost so much weight. It scares me that he is not hungry. Its a side effect of his chemo. We have consultations and and MRI in Atlanta next week and then we are going to Legoland for his "Make-a-wish" trip after that. It probably won't be much longer and they will do surgery to repair his liver. It is very scary but its his best chance of beating this cancer.

I have been feeding him supplements through his feeding tube. Hopefully its at least keeping him from losing any weight.

This week I have a doctors appointment for myself. I have gained 30 lbs since my son got sick and I feel miserable about it. I'm taking anxiety meds and that might have something to do with it. I don't know if the Doctor can help me figure out anything but its worth a try. I'm just so scared of getting diabetes or high blood pressure or anything else that comes with being obese :( I really do want to be healthy but its so hard when I am taking care of so many other people, to also take care of myself. but the crazy thing is, how can I take care of everyone else if I am NOT taking care of myself?

God is good though. I trust Him.

God bless you all.
SWMD

Hi Jessica,

Hi Jessica,

Good to see the little guy is still fighting. You all remain in my prayers. The nursing home may be the best for MIL they can look at her and possibly provide therapy for her that could help. Or she can see for herself that she is not capable of living alone. You do have to be careful there are good and bad but the good ones are very nice. I'm leading hymn singing at one Saturday.

Try this site for dieting it's pretty nice. http://bwsimulator.niddk.nih.gov/

God be with you

Tired Dave

Jessica,

Jessica,

If I remember your situation, let me say you are trying to convince the part of you that wants to keep Mom at home that where Mom is now at is good for everyone involved. Mom now has her "own place." People can feel free to visit her. She will make new friends at the facility and her needs will be taken care of.

Remember, a facility is only as good as the family who visits.

I am glad to hear your son is a little fighter. Please keep giving us news about him. Remember to take care of yourself, also.

Love,
xoxoxo

(((((((((((((Jessica)))))))))

(((((((((((((Jessica))))))))))))))

You are working at full-tilt to get everyone the care they need. Please don't feel guilty about having to place your MIL. See how it works out, and know that I have my fingers crossed that it is a happy new home for her!

Continuing prayers for you and your family, especially the little guy. I know you must be exhausted beyond belief! I hope that you have a blessed 2013.

Hugs,
Gaby

We got her moved in on

We got her moved in on Tuesday. They ended up putting her in a shared room right away but then decided to move her to a different shared room today! I hope they don't move her anymore.

She seems to be coming down with a cold. I hope they will take good care of her.

We were a little upset because every day we have visited her and every time she's in bed with a night gown on! At home she only stayed in bed with a night gown on at night! Dh talked to the nurse about it and said he was afraid she would get depressed staying in bed all the time. They said they would work on it.

The first room they put her in didn't have enough room for her lift recliner but her new room does so Dh and my brother are going to move it over there this evening. Hopefully that will keep her out of bed more.

Silas has been fussy and sleepy lately. His appetite is not good. My cousin is sending me some aroma therapy oils that are supposed to increase appetite! I am hoping that will help.

Next week he has an MRI on Tuesday and hopefully we will get a surgery date set up. We leave Wednesday for Florida for Silas' make-a-wish foundation trip. I hope we have a lot of fun and don't have to think about cancer for a few days!

Jessica,

Jessica,

Keep a journal on what you see done w/Mom. My SIL was moved 6 times in the first 3 months. Regarding staying in bed. . . In TX the person who does the complaining is the one moved. Keep that in the back of your head in case Mom should get a "B" for a roommate .

Unless Mom is on the far side of skilled care, she should be gotten out of bed everyday, her hair fixed, and encouraged to participate in the facility activities. Talk to the nursing director and emphasize your feelings. Why is staff just leaving Mom in bed? If that does not work, take it to the facility administrator. I am with you. Mom needs to do as much as possible & not be left in bed.

I was told to give SIL and staff about 6 wks to bond. Right now I am in disagreement w/SM's staff. They leave SM in bed b/c she says "I don't care. Leave me alone." Since Dad convinced SM to not have me as a PoA, staff uses the excuse "they cannot talk to me." Monday I will make an appt w/an elder law attorney to see what can be done about changing SM's PoA. Right now Dad is PoA w/DH as alternate. DH is usually the one making the decisions. If DH were to die tomorrow, there is no one set behind him and Dad.

Anyhow, thx for listening, everyone.

xoxoxo