Hello. New girl on the block.
My mom has been diagnosed with MS since I was too young to remember. I've been helping take care of her and my younger sister since I was maybe 10 and she was a single mother. Most MS treatments don't help or give bad side effects, on top of that she's dealing with fiber myalgia, infrequent memory loss and suicidal depression. I have watched her nearly overdose on multiple occasions and yes we have to lock up her medicine.
My husband and I are living with my mother and now step father. The extra hands has helped but her MS has turned progressive and there are no longer the remissions she used to have. My step father is also disabled and hard of hearing even if he cares for my mother a lot. My husband is supportive but not the best when it comes to medical or mental issues. Its very difficult for my mother to leave the house and she does not have many people to confide in so she tends to rely on me a lot. There are a lot of times I don't know where to draw the line between child and caregiver even if I'm over 30 now. I do most of the shopping, and handle a lot of the cooking and cleaning.
With Covid happening, I am now working from home and as a manager I have a lot of responsibility with my job. My mom does everything she can to respect some kind of boundaries. However she is often forgetful and I have to step away from work on several occasions for an emergency to run to help my mom. I can't juggle both.
I'm burned out, feeling on call for both my mom and my job. I feel guilty that this situation has triggered my own depression and anxiety badly. I get overwhelmed at the most stupid little things and feel incapable. I don't want to help anymore, but I fear the worst if I don't. Moving out isn't an option right now and I don't know when my job will allow working from the office again. Hopefully soon so I can at least separate my dual responsibilities.
I'm tired of feeling alone so I'm glad I can at least speak up here. Thanks for listening. I'd love any advice or to hear if people have gone through something similar. Most caregivers I know aren't this young and have been dealing with this for as long as I have. At least not that I've been able to connect to.